


Loving can hurt sometimes

by sunshinelix



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) Needs a Hug, Sad Mark Lee (NCT), Soft Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27867117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinelix/pseuds/sunshinelix
Summary: Mark Lee is in love with Lee Donghyuck. When Donghyuck stops spending time with him and spends his every moment with Johnny, completely ignoring his bestfriend he isolates himself away. Taeil just doesn't want to see his baby Mark sad.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 6
Kudos: 154





	Loving can hurt sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever Markhyuck fic I hope it's not too bad! <3

Mark had never been more confused in his life, Haechan had been ignoring him for a week straight and it was starting to take a serious toll on him. He missed Donghyuck constantly hanging off him, the constant cuddles while watching movies, he missed Donghyuck randomly grabbing his hand. They hadn’t spoken one word to each other in 7 days and Mark couldn’t help but wonder if he’d done something to upset the younger boy. He has no idea what he could’ve done to make his best friend cut all communication so suddenly.

What he does know however, is that all the things he and Donghyuck used to do, down to the random hand holding, the younger is now doing with Johnny. It makes Mark unreasonably upset, he knows that they’re all close to Donghyuck, that the maknae likes to give his love to everyone. But the thing that bothers Mark is that he isn’t getting any of his attention, Johnny seems to be getting the attention he used to get.

It’s this unreasonable sadness that makes him realise he isn’t mad at Johnny, he’s just jealous. He isn’t new to feeling romantic things for his best friend, he’s acknowledged his crush for years now, what’s new is not getting any of his attention. He was so used to being the one Donghyuck was closest with, the person Donghyuck would turn to when he didn’t want to watch a romance movie alone. He’d never realised how much of his time was dedicated to Donghyuck until he started giving that attention to someone else.

He knows the others on the 10th floor have noticed Mark’s sudden sour mood, his unwillingness to participate in game or movie nights. He knows they’ve definitely noticed the sudden lack of a certain boy in the dorms coupled with Mark’s lack of leaving their dorm. He’s been cooped up in his room for the past week, only coming out when Yuta or Taeil forced him to come eat food or just be around the others. 

He didn't know what to do about Donghyuck ignoring him, he couldn’t just ask what he’d done wrong. He wasn’t even sure if he’d done anything wrong at all, maybe Donghyuck just wanted to spend more quality time with Johnny, it’d make sense since the two share a room. But the nagging in the back of his brain had convinced him that he had somehow annoyed the younger into not wanting to be friends anymore.

The only thing he was currently capable of doing was moping in his room, or in the living room and kitchen when Yuta or Taeil decided he’d been alone for too long. They’d come into his pitch black room towards lunch, where they’d find Mark laying in bed, his phone clutched in his hands. They would always gently pry the phone out of his hands before coaxing him out of bed. 

He was grateful that they were taking care of him despite how much he didn’t want to move or talk. He could tell that they were worried, wanted to know what was wrong so they could fix it. But he wasn’t sure how to tell them that he just missed Donghyuck without sounding needy or dumb. Though he should’ve realised their patience would be short lived.

He was sulking on his bed when Taeil came into the room around the usual time and Mark was ready to be coaxed away from his warm bed wearing a hoodie that was clearly too big to belong to him. But instead of trying to get Mark’s phone away from him as per usual, Taeil sat down on the bed behind him. 

“Alright c'mon, tell me what’s been on your mind.” He said it softly, his hand coming up to brush Mark’s hair out of his face. Mark closed his eyes trying to form a response without crying.

Taeil was patient, he sat there running his hand through Mark’s hair waiting for a response. When Mark finally shifted to face him he moved his hand to give Mark’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze before moving it off of him entirely. 

When Mark sits up fully he plays with the sleeves of the sweater, Taeil immediately recognises it as belonging to one Lee Donghyuck but he remains quiet, waiting for the younger to start talking. Mark lets out a heavy sigh before he curls his legs into himself and starts.

“I’m in love with Hyuckie.” He says it quietly like he doesn’t want the other to hear him. Taeil hums in acknowledgment to encourage Mark to keep going. “That’s not even the issue. I’ve been in love with him for years, I mean how could I not fall in love with someone so bright and sweet. I just kept telling myself that as long as he was in my life I didn’t care if it was just as my best friend and I thought that’d be enough and for a while it was!” He pauses, rubbing his hands over his face and then through his hair. Taeil shifts so he can rub the younger boys back comfortingly. 

Mark leans into the warmth of Taeil, he lets out a few shaky breaths before he decides to continue. “It was enough because we did everything together, we spent all of our free time doing stuff together. But he’s been spending all his time with Johnny and I wouldn’t normally be upset but he’s been ignoring me all week! I’ve texted him and he never replies anymore. I just wanna know if I did something to make him ignore me so I can fix it because I miss him so much. I didn’t even know I could miss a person this much but I miss him so much it hurts and I just wanna apologize to him but he refuses to talk to me.”

He hadn’t even realised he had started crying until he felt Taeil wipe his eyes and hug him closer. Mark had never been more thankful to have such a caring hyung than in that moment. He let himself cry in Taeil’s arms, the older rubbing patterns on his arm in an attempt to calm him down. His breathing slowly evened out and Taeil decided that now was probably the right time to speak. 

“I can’t tell you why he’s ignoring and I can’t magically make it better but what I will say is, you need to go talk to him in person. You two are damn near inseparable and I don’t think you should let Hyuck being a brat ruin your friendship. I think you need to be open and honest with him about your feelings because if I’m being completely honest here, that boy looks at you like you’ve given him the world.” Mark takes a few seconds to absorb what he’s being told and he knows he should talk to Donghyuck, but the tiny voice in his head is telling him that if he’s upset the nicest person he knows then he deserves it. 

They spend what seems like hours on Mark’s bed, the younger basking in the warmth and protection of his hyung’s presence. Yet even as he sat there, warm and feeling safe, the empty feeling in his chest felt heavier then before and he knew that only the sunshine boy 5 floors below would be able to fix it. As if he was able to sense his inner turmoil, Taeil spoke again.

“I know all those tears probably tired you out so why don’t you take a nap and I’ll go make you something to eat okay? I promise everythings gonna work out bub.” He ruffled Mark’s hair before leaving him alone in the room once again. 

He had a point, Mark was exhausted from crying and all he wanted was to sleep. But at the same time he craved Donghyuck’s hugs and cuddles, missed the way they’d laugh at any lame joke they could think of. So he laid down, drowning in Donghyuck’s hoodie that was slowly losing his smell and slept.

He wakes up to the feeling of someone gently carding their fingers through his hair. He assumes it’s Taeil and he’s far too comfortable to move so he attempts to move closer to the warmth, pushing his head further into his touch. The movement stops and he involuntarily lets out a whine at the loss of contact.

“Hey you’re finally up.” That voice is definitely not Taeil and it makes his heart pick up speed. He pulls back from the hand still resting in his hair and closes his eyes tighter in attempts to calm his racing heart. The hand moves to rub his arm and Mark has to focus on not crying. He chooses to turn his back to the boy sitting in front of him to stop the tears.

“What’re you doing here?” He asks, his voice cracking on the last word makes him cringe. The hand pokes his side a few times before stopping realising that Mark probably isn’t going to turn around.

“I came to apologise to you and maybe see if you wanted food, Yuta said you haven’t been eating much lately.” He situates himself directly behind Mark, bringing his hand up to card through Mark’s hair again. Before Mark can stop the thought, his mind is clouded with the fact that Hyuck probably cards his fingers through Johnny’s hair too. The thought makes him bitter and jealous.

“Shouldn’t you be hanging out with Johnny or something. Go play with his hair.” The words come out bitter but he can’t help it. He expects Hyuck to stop playing with his hair, to leave him alone and sad, maybe even laugh and call him childish. He doesn’t expect the sad sigh the younger lets out, it makes him turn his head like he has to know why he’s sad. He couldn’t have prepared himself for the sight of Donghyuck’s sad face, but what makes his heart beat faster is that the younger is wearing one of Mark’s old hoodies.

“I don’t wanna play with Johnny’s hair, I wanna play with yours. I want to be here with you, not with Johnny.” There’s a sort of lightness to his tone that makes Mark relax. He knows Hyuck is being honest and it makes him feel relieved and safe. He shifts so that his body is facing the younger boy before he sits up.

When Hyuck removes his hand from Mark’s hair he can't help but look down and play with fingers, suddenly feeling insecure. Donghyuck must clock the nervous habit because without saying anything he pokes Mark’s cheek until he looks up and smiles.

“I just wanted to say that Im really sorry I’ve been ignoring you recently, I just really needed to sort some stuff out and then I just didn’t know how to approach you and tell you. You just mean so much to me and sometimes that scares me but I’m even more scared of losing you. I know that I hurt you and I’m so sorry but I brought your favourite food and I'm ready to spend all of my time with you.” He was looking at Mark like he was scared or nervous and that wasn’t a look he liked to see his Hyuck have.

“I love you, you know that right?” He says when Mark hasn’t said anything and instead just looks like he wants to cry.

“But you don’t love me the way I love you.” He mumbles it and doesn’t expect Hyuck to pick up on what he’s said but when the other goes stiff in front of him he knows he heard it. He feels his eyes get watery and he wants to hide but before he can move he feels Hyuck’s hand come up to his face and wipe a few tears.

“Hey, look at me Mark please?” He sounds sad and that just makes him cry harder. Hyuck pulls him onto his lap to properly comfort him and being in his embrace feels so safe. “Take some deep breaths, it's okay. I promise you’re okay love just breathe for me.”

The pet name coupled with the younger squeezing him and rubbing his back calms him, he can feel his breaths coming easier. His cries slowly turn into hiccups and as he calms down he knows he has to get everything off his chest. He pulls away enough to be facing Hyuck ignoring the younger's protests.

“I have to say this right now because I just have to get it off my chest so please just, don't say anything until I’m done okay?” He watches Hyuck nod and his fingers play with Mark’s as comfort. 

“I’m in love with you. I have been for such a long time I forgot what it feels like to not love you and I never want to remember what that feels like. You feel like such a beam of sunshine in my life and you make everything so much better by just existing and I don’t care how cliche that sounds it's true. I’m so completely in love with you that sometimes it hurts, sometimes I wanna hold you and never let you leave. I feel so shitty dumping this onto you right now because you just told me you had a lot going on but fuck I can’t take not telling you anymore and I’m sorry this isn’t the perfect confession like I wanted it to be.” He finishes and focuses on staring at his lap so he won’t have to face the rejection head on. What he isn’t prepared for is Donghyuck grabbing him and pulling him for the tightest hug.

“Shut up you aren’t dumping anything onto me okay? I love you more than anything, nothing you ever say will be bad to me. You have nothing to feel bad about and I’m so sorry I ignored but thank you for being honest about your feelings. You didn’t have to make it perfect because you already mean the world to me.” He wraps his arms around Hyuck’s waist and squeezes as if expecting the younger to disappear.

“I wanted to wait until you were feeling better to ask but I wanna ease any nasty thoughts in your cute head right now. So, Lee Minhyung, do you want to be my boyfriend?” It makes Mark giggle because he never uses his full name and it sounds funny coming from Hyuck of all people. He sees the younger's lips quirk into a smile and he feels so loved in that moment.

“Lee Donghyuck I would love nothing more than to be your boyfriend.” He’s smiling so wide his cheeks hurt but Hyuck’s got a matching smile that makes him feel so warm inside.

They spend the rest of the night talking about their week separated and making plans for future dates to go on. It feels right to be in his favourite boys arms eating his favourite food and laughing at everything together. He hopes they can do this forever because being together makes him feel so safe and warm. They complete each other like two puzzle pieces.


End file.
